Monday, December 21, 2009

What your not dead??

Since my life has been nothing less than a roller coaster this past year I tend to forget that my friends may be going through things as well. Not all necessarily bad things either. I have been there when they ask but otherwise I have been absent from all aspects of life minus work. Tonight I am going out with an old friend. We have been through thick and thin together. He is in a real relationship so I know he doesn't have much time. I guess I am finally snapping out of it since I am actually going out. Usually I just make something up so I can sit home in front of my computer and TV. It feels nice to be excited about going out. Nothing crazy our crazy times are on 4 wheelers and shooting guns. Usually he is the one I turn to him when I need to go on a drinking bender. I am not fearful of hearing about his awesome relationship...things are looking up!!

QOD: "We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everyhwere."
---Tim McGraw

Sunday, December 20, 2009

You've got mail

Most of us girls have seen this movie and I am willing to bet most of us can recite most of the lines in it. Therefore most of us understand the title of this and have the general meaning of this post before even reading on. What I have now is something that I have never had but deep down been longing for. Of course it all starts out there is this boy...

No, I didn't meet him in a chat room, I don't think they even exist anymore. I have known him for about a year now. For lack of creativity we will call him Joe (for those of you who do not get it Joe Fox is Tom Hanks character in You've got mail). Joe use to work out at the Y then got a job there. For awhile I didn't think much of him since I assumed that he was just a HUGE meathead and an arrogant jackhole. He is very good looking, like the type that everyone notices. I made nice and just like anyone else in the Y I flirt with everyone... member satisfaction. We started talk then it went a few steps further. The innocent flirting turned to blatant flirting. Then I was hit with a huge surprise... he had a girl friend and she was not very happy with me. Not that I can blame her but she threatened me and my job. I didn't talk to him again that was till recently.

I know he tried to talk to me numerous time but really he lied. I don't dig liars. Plus my job and reputation were compromised. He moved recently all the way to the west coast. I was feeling nice and included him in my email to everyone around Thanksgiving to say happy holidays. He emailed back and we have been exchanging emails since.

I knew he wasn't stupid almost a year ago but I still just assumed he was just another pretty face in the crowd. Just a typical pretty boy. I assumed he had no story, no lot in life. Like last year proves I was wrong. Our emails keep getting longer. More personal. Just more in general. It dawned on me last week that I am checking my email a million times a day hoping for one email. I've got mail. If you would have told me six months ago I would hope every day to talk to Joe I would have laughed in your face.

He does have a story. He understands that life isn't easy and there are things in life that are nothing more than lessons. Now he lives on the west coast... go figure. He wants ME, Mous to come out there for a visit and I bet if I asked he would come here for a visit too. I am not a pretty face in the crowd. I am just average and I thrive on average. I do not know what I am thinking about all of this but I know I am thinking a lot about it. He told me I write well... no one has ever pointed that out to me. Well at least no one has pointed it out so quickly. He told me I should write a book... my one true dream.

Now I wait for my little gmail icon to open telling me I have mail...


Quote of the day:
What will NY152 say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer. I wait impatiently as it connects. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You've got mail. I hear nothing. Not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beating of my own heart. I have mail. From you.
- You've got mail

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Neglect

This year has been long tough and never ending. I am glad it is done and happy to have my life moving forward once again.

WARNING!! This entry will read like a diary so please do not hold it against me.

David and I broke up months ago and though I knew it would be hard but I did not think for a minute that it would be this hard. The years I'll never get back and for the most part I am OK with that. I am still not OK with losing my best friend. There were lots of bad time and the one thing I got from it is how close I want to be with someone. I'll never get back his family or our friends. I am definitely a winner at a losing game. In the long run I am better off but I can't lie and say it hasn't been life changing and that I think about my choice daily but the one thing I know is forever would have been long and bitter.

The Y... AHHH relief!! I got another promotion. I am back to the beginning... aquatics director. It will be the death of me but I am happy with it!! :)

I started... I will finish